Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My frustrated manifesto

Why is it so wrong to hope and strive for a world where people take care of one another instead scratching and clawing in a vain attempt to get to the top of a worthless pile of dung, only to be pushed aside by the next ruthless, soulless being to climb up. How did our world get to the point that the only way to support your family is to grab and claw and fight for every little crumb. What satisfaction am I supposed to take from supporting my family if the work that I do isn't noble?

I was recently in a meeting where one of our higher ups from my day job used the phrase "What we do is a noble thing." No. It's not. Far from it. What we do, and I include all of Corporate America in this, is the opposite of noble. To be noble is to sacrifice yourself for the betterment of others. To be noble is to suffer so that others don't have to. There is nothing noble in grabbing for your chunk of the market share.

That's one of the reasons why I was and still am, excited about what we;re doing at ANA Comics. It truly isn't about making money. It's about creating an environment that encourages others to meet their potential and rise above it and beyond. It's about creating a company that lowers themselves to the ground to pick you up and dust you off and send you on your way with our support.

I need the opportunity to find a "job" that fits that bill. Does that job even exist? Something where you can support your family and still be proud of the work that you've done? Where, at the end of the day, you can wipe the dirt off your hands and step back and look at what you've done and HONESTLY say that it's a good thing? Am I just being the stubborn ideologist? Am I being ignorant to the ways of the world? Would it be better for my family if I just shrugged my shoulders and said "that's the way of the world" and proceeded to tear my neighbors throat out to make the money that I need?

We've become a society of thieves and vampires and we've been told to accept it. We've been told countless times that THIS is the way the world works. I can't bring myself to accept that. I can't bring myself to rape and pillage just because it benifits my family. If that makes me a bad father and husband, then so be it.

There needs to be a change in this world. A drastic change. We need to find a way so that we don't have to tread on our neighbors face and hands to advance up the mountain of dung. We need to find a way so that we don't have to punch and gouge and scrape our way to the top. We need to find a way so that we can provide our own broad shoulders for the foundation of others to climb up and maybe, just maybe, they'll retunr the favor and allow you a chance to climb up and see over the horizon.

This tirade doesn't come near to satisfying the frustration that's eating away at my insides but I hope it's a start. I hope that anyone reading can walk away and maybe, just once in their day, stop and help someone out. Grab that taxi for the man next to you instead of leaping in front of him. Give that stranger on the bus the extra 50 cents they need to get the ride. Offer up your seat on the subway to the stranger standing in front of you. Buy the coffee for the guy behind you in line at your favorite coffee shop.

I can't tell if I'm screaming in vain to the empty heavens or if this rant will have any effect on the world. And I know that my primary responsibility is to the welfare of my girls and to my wife. So I will continue to do what I have to to keep them safe and secure and comfortable. But I WON'T stop railing against a system I see is corrupt.

That's it for now. Thanks for reading.

Nicholas P. Myers

Monday, February 22, 2010

The Contradictions of being an artist

I hope this doesn't come across as some sort of selfish rant, but I needed some way to let my frustration leak out in the ethosphere. There is a definite duality to life if you're one who is considered an artist. You are expected to be the one with the creative answers. You are expected to have an opinion regarding any type of design aspect in other people's lives. And you are expected to present yourself as a normal, fully functional human being.

At the same time, you have to pretend that your emotions do not rule your life. You should put forth the false notion that you can behave rationally in any situation. As an adult, you are expected to handle your life exactly as every other rational human being would and fit in.

Because of these things, I am ashamed of my artistic impulses. I am ashamed that I think it's funny to have colorful toe socks, which are actually very comfortable. I worry that I'm not presenting myself as the proper father figure because I am given to emotional ebbs and flows.

I am frustrated by the fact that I have to come and sit in the tan cubicle day after day in order to provide for my family. I am frustrated that I have to do this instead of pursuing my passion properly. I understand the necessity of it but I am still frustrated by it.

I wish people would understand that life hurts me and pleases me to much more of an extent than the rational mind because I don't have a true filter for it. My life is a sensory based life where every pleasure and pain is amplified 10 fold and it can have a physuical affect on me. Causing anxiety and depression. And I would love to have someone tell me they understand how I feel instead of telling me I need to find a better way to deal with it. I know I have to find a better way to deal with it. I am not ignorant of my position as a father and a husband.

I'll get off my soapbox now. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope I didn't push too many buttons. But I feel better now. :)

Nick M.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I found a wonderful site out there for some great reference photos that will be perfect once I visit The Harijan series again. Lots of great photo references from run down Detroit areas that I think can give me much more detail and character that I could get from just pulling it out of my head. The trick is going to be able to use these photos as references in the pages without making them stand out too much in comarison with the rest of the page. Anyway, here's the link for the site:

Monday, February 15, 2010

Being able to look back and smile.

This is a very important part of my life. My childhood and my family. Some people, unfortunately were not blessed with the childhood and family that I had when I was growing up. I think these were very important in shaping who I am today, so I'd like to share something with you today. My uncle put together a website with some old pictures of my grandparents when they were young and he also included some old home videos that my family made.

Now, I'm not talking about boring home videos of hours of kids unwrapping presents, but actual scripted movies with plots and brilliant acting. Well, maybe it wasn't brilliant acting. And the soundtrack was a boombox played by my other uncle.

So check the link out if you've got the time and let me know what you think!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Mikey from TMNT. Hockey game sketch #2.

Here's a quick sketch I did of Michaelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A kind of first time warm up sketch as I've drawn the Turtles before and from the fun I had on this one, I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

Friday, February 12, 2010

A picture that blows my mind.

A while ago, while immersed in the mind numbing data of the internet, this photo came to me. I was searching for some reference photos of the Garthim from The Dark Crystal and the artist who created this photo was named Garthim, apparently.

I am simultaneously in love with this photo and afraid of it. The story or the world that this image opens up is both terrifying and fascinating. I think that's an integral part of any artwork. It needs to play on both sides of the human experience.

I want to make this picture part of a writing workshop through and just post the picture and make the goal be to write a story behind or inspired by the photo. I have a story that has been building in this world but I don't want to put it out for fear of changing your experience on viewing the picture. Perhaps I'll post it a later date?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

10 min sketch during Wing's game

Threw this on my sketch while I was listening to Larry Murphy break down the second period of tonight's hockey game. Felt good to just sit and let something flow out of my pen instead of trying to think about what to draw.

First Impressions

Imagine that this blog doesn't feel like your first date in high school, with both you and your significant other akwardly feeling along in the dark for something familar to hold onto. Imagine instead that this a chance encounter with a stranger on the street who just happens to catch your attention. With that in mind, I want the opportunity to hold that attention for a little while longer.

I've got outlets such as Twitter and Facebook and my own comics company which I run, partnered with two other great individuals, Anthony Hary and Adrian Wilkins. But I want this blog to exist as a seperate entity from those other outlets, as well as an extension of them and myself.

So, this is my first attempt at a blog and I will try many more. I will consider this place a dump site for all the data that builds in my head. All the ideas and images and stories and worlds that swim to existance out of the chaotic grey mist of my mind. Right now is just a clumsy introduction. Hopefully, later, you'll give me the opportunity to wow you with my mind.